


Torture

by TheStrangeSeaWolf



Series: Darkness and Light [9]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: (works as one-shot although it's part of a series), Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/M, Firebabbles, Hurt/Comfort, Implied/Referenced Torture, One Shot, POV Clara Oswin Oswald, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Regeneration, Telepathic Bond
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-17
Updated: 2019-10-17
Packaged: 2020-12-21 06:11:13
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,364
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21070190
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheStrangeSeaWolf/pseuds/TheStrangeSeaWolf
Summary: To help the Doctor recover he has to share some painful memories. Needless to say this is nothing he likes to do. However, Clara convinces him to share the story how he discovered he could will back regeneration. Soon she finds herself experiencing  through telepathy what happened to the Doctor when he tried hard to keep some aliens from capturing and killing the mightiest creature in the universe - Clara Oswin Oswald.





	Torture

**Author's Note:**

> This is one I originally thought of as a one shot and I still think it works as one. But after starting "Darkness and Light" it seemed quite a fitting story to explain how the Doctor discovered he could will back regeneration.

She didn’t like what she saw, either. She really had hoped that sleep would help her Doctor gaining his full vital force again. Instead, she found that the only way seemed to be facing and sharing his painful memories. It seemed cruel. And cruel of her to force him to do so. But if she wanted to save him from regenerating, this is what she had to do.

She wondered if there was something she could do to make it less painful. Maybe not asking him to show her what happened on Skaro as he tried so eagerly to avoid it? But what else? Whatever she asked him to show her, it would be painful, no matter how far back it was.

Maybe there was something that was more like telling her a story? This would make it perhaps easier for him to share. She remembered that he mentioned discovering he could force back regeneration. This was something he never told her about. Maybe this was a starting point.

As they hugged and joined heads she said: “Do you like to show me how you discovered you could will back regeneration?”

He shook his head.

“Doctor, every memory we share has to be a painful one, so it helps regaining your vital force. I’m sure you don’t want to share any of them. But you still have to choose. It’s either this one or what really happened on Skaro.”

He sighed.

_Suddenly she stood in manacles between two frog-like aliens. In front of her sat what was apparently their boss, king or leader. He sat in his chair, eying her with three bloodshot eyes and a broad grin on his teeth-revealing mouth with protruding canines. _

_“Here we go again. Have you decided what you want to do today, timelord?” He asked._

_“I will not tell.” She heard the Doctor – herself – say._

_“Fine then, Xarathos, do your duty.”_

_To her right she saw a fire burning and another alien standing nearby, clad in black leather, holding the tip of a spear to the fire._

_She felt pain all over her body. Apparently, there was not much unhurt skin left on her back. Probably what the whip she saw on the alien’s belt did. She didn’t know what happened to her left hand, but it was just a throbbing mess of blood and flesh. There were several ulcerous wounds all over her body and it seemed several ribs were broken. Probably quite a few inner bleedings, too. _

_The guards held her tight as the alien addressed as Xarathos approached with the glowing spear, ready to let it sink into her body._

_“Her coordinates. Give us her coordinates or this time your left kidney will get it,” the leader brought his stinking face close to her face. _

_As something told her the right kidney was already badly damaged, this would most likely be her death._

_Maybe she could outsmart them. There was not much hope. But she had to try it anyway. She had to keep Clara safe. And the only option was to stay alive. The chances were a million to one that this plan would work out, but the one chance was the only one she needed. _

_“Stop. I give up, I will tell.” She heard herself say._

_“Ah, in the end they always sing. Congratulations, timelord, usually this happens on the second day after Xarathos had some fun. You kept up for two months, that’s quite a while. Now give us the coordinates to get Clara Oswin Oswald, the mightiest creature in the universe.”_

Clara broke the bond and took a step back to look at the Doctor.

“What?”

The Doctor stood with his eyes closed as if in pain.

“It’s a long story.”

“It sounds like I need a bit of background information on this one?”

“I can’t show you, otherwise you will go through two months of serious interrogation on Pertinathos and I would favor regenerating to that option.”

“Well, try to give me an abstract, at least?”

“Okay, long story short: The Pertinathoans have a prophecy that there is a leader that will lead their people into the Golden Age. He will do that by capturing and killing the mightiest creature in the universe.”

“Which happens to be me?” She raised her eyebrow.

“Sorry to quench your egomania, but the Pertinathoans misinterpreted something their oracle said. Somewhere in the past they came to the conclusion that the timelords are the mightiest creatures in the universe. Their research showed that there was only one timelord left. So… they asked their oracle how to capture that specific timelord. Their oracle said that there was only one creature in the whole universe mighty enough to capture that timelord. And that the name of that creature is Clara Oswin Oswald.”

She looked at her Doctor with utter disbelief and inflated eyes. This had to be a joke.

“Don’t look at me like that. I’m only telling this story because you made me. Okay, the oracle used the term “bontaclain”, which means “capturing” as well as “controlling”. So, the oracle meant to say that you are the only creature in the universe that can control me.”

She had to giggle involuntarily. The Doctor chimed in.

“It’s kind of true, isn’t it?” He asked, giving her a tender glance with his grey-blue eyes.

“Uhm… I refuse to answer this question.” She blushed. “Now, go ahead with your story.”

“Well, then, what the Perinathoans decided was that if there was a creature mighty enough to capture a timelord, this creature was the mightiest creature in the universe, and they should capture this one instead. Obviously, it was easier to track me down than you and they concluded that I would be able to lead them to you. That’s why they imprisoned me and tried to get your coordinates from me.”

“You were seriously wounded. What did they do to you?” She gently stroked his back, remembering the pain she felt. She assumed that in telepathy it hurt a lot less than in real life.

“Doesn’t matter. I don’t think the details will help you or me.”

Right, she thought. As she wasn’t completely sure if her analysis was right anyway, she could at least avoid the memories that were too painful for him. She opened her arms to close the bond again.

_“The coordinates, then!” The leader exclaimed._

_“It’s not as easy as that, Ruxanthos. Clara Oswin Oswald is a fierce creature and very suspicious. I have to take you to her place, and I have to guide you. You people wouldn’t survive her first line of defense on a good day. To get to her, I will need my ship. Her alarm systems are very refined, every other vehicle will be destroyed immediately. And you have to join me alone.” _

_The leader addressed as Ruxanthos broke into a horrifying laughter._

_“I know your tricks, Doctor. You try to single me out from my men and think you can overpower me once we are in space. No way.”_

_“Well, I always knew that you are a coward and are not the one mentioned in your prophecy: _

_‘He, who will wrestle down the mightiest creature in the universe single-handedly and kill it with his bare hands will lead Pertinathos into the Golden Age.’ _

_If I’m not mistaken, that’s what it says. Nothing about a whole army to help him. Besides, if I’m joined by more than one companion, she will sense something is wrong and probably kill us before we even get near her.”_

_Ruxanthos huffed. His three eyes looked grim, but it was obvious he tried to decide if it was a bluff or if the Doctor had a point. He called one of his guards who seemed to be of higher rank for counseling. They discussed with wild gestures and after a few minutes finally came to a conclusion._

_“Well and good,” Ruxanthos said, “I will take a few good men and your ship on my flagship and when we approach the planet, the two of us will land there with your ship. But my men will monitor all our moves so they can come to my rescue if you play foul.”_

_She felt her hearts jump. _

_“Bring him back to the cellar while we prepare for take-off.” Ruxanthos shouted._

_The two guards grabbed her by the arms and dragged her down a long staircase. Moments later she was thrown into a dark cell and the guards left after she received a few additional kicks in the stomach for good measure. _

_As the door closed and she was left in the dark she tried to concentrate, ignoring the pain she felt throughout her body. Suddenly, there was a strange new feeling. Looking down at her right hand, she saw a golden glow. No, no, no, no, no, she couldn’t regenerate now. They would probably torture the next incarnation who was not prepared for it and who knows if the next one was smart enough to keep Clara safe. Besides, maybe the next self wasn’t even caring enough to keep Clara safe. No, she had to stop regeneration now. _

_To her surprise, she could will it back with relative ease. She only had to think of Clara, how she smiled (this was still an odd feeling, smiling at herself), how she walked and how she talked. As she did so, the strange feeling disappeared. At the same time, the aching in her abdomen, kidneys, ribcage, back and left hand came back. She welcomed them as signs of life. _

_Obviously, the Doctor had decided to skip the next few hours, as the next thing she saw was her standing in a narrow cave. It was burning hot and there was a stream of lava in front of them. She felt sweat dripping from her forehead and felt a burning pain in her abdomen. Probably an inner bleeding. She didn’t care. _

_Looking to her right side, she saw that Ruxanthos was not made for this kind of environment. He seemed a lot smaller than before and his skin had dried out which made him look more like a taxidermized crocodile than the fierce leader of the Pertinathoans. _

_“That’s it, Ruxanthos, the final frontier. We have to jump over there to meet Clara Oswin Oswald.”_

_“There’s no bridge,” Ruxanthos exclaimed._

_“Who needs bridges?” She heard her say. A few hops over some rocks in the lava stream and she was on the other side, ignoring the pain every hop sent through her maimed body. Having been on this planet not too long ago sure helped a lot with her task. Suddenly, she felt the tingling sensation of regeneration again and willed it back quickly. _

_Looking back, she saw Ruxanthos staring at her from the other side of the stream. Taking some mercy on him she told him where to hop on. With his frog-like legs he could make the hops with relative ease, although the heat was definitely not his comfort zone._

_They followed a small path and turned around the next corner which brought them to a large sea of lava. Suddenly the lava started to bubble as if it was boiling over. Then, two gigantic fire wings broke the surface. They flapped and drew the rest of a gigantic, flaming body out of the lava. The creature had a gigantic head with four featherlike horns and a menacing beak. It opened it’s wild, red, flaming eyes and shot them a terrifying look, exhaling a darting flame that missed them by only a few inches. _

_“Hey, Clara Oswin Oswald, ruler of the universe!” She heard herself shout._

_The creature opened its beak, gave a bloodcurdling screech and blew another flame at them. _

_Then it spoke:_

_“I am Clara Oswin Oswald, ruler of the universe!”_

_Another deep, groaning scream followed, accompanied by flapping of the wings._

_She gave Ruxanthos a side glance. He seemed to have turned to stone, gazing at the creature with fearful eyes._

_“Well, here’s your one-off chance to make history, Ruxanthos, don’t screw it.” She exclaimed. _

_Then she turned her back and ran as fast as her broken body allowed her to. The hoping over the lava seemed to be more difficult from this side of the stream and one time she nearly slipped, but finally she reached the other side. Here, she fell to her knees, panting. The golden glow appeared at her hands again, but she fought it back and forced herself on her feet. _

_A short sprint down the volcano mountains and she reached the TARDIS. The old girl opened her doors immediately to help her thief. She felt all power leaving her body and she broke down on the floor of the console room. Her body cramped from exhaustion and pain. With the last ounce of strength, she got up and pulled the lever to dematerialize the TARDIS. _

_“Bring me home… bring me to Clara…” she heard the Doctor mumble before she lost her consciousness. _

_When she awoke, she found herself to her surprise not in the TARDIS or Clara’s flat, but a room that was so tastefully furnished she immediately knew where she was. Victorian London. Madame Vastra’s home. _

_“Ah, look who’s back in the land of the living.” She heard a voice beside the bed. _

_“Clara?” She heard the hoarse voice of the Doctor ask._

_“No, Doctor, it’s me, Jenny. Better not tell her that you confuse us two.”_

_“What happened?”_

_“Well, my wife and your TARDIS had quite a hard time patching you together, Doctor. There was not much left that was not in some way broken, cut or smashed in your body.”_

_She felt her eyes fluttering shut again, but suddenly she bolted upright in the bed._

_“Did I regenerate?”_

_“No.” Jenny smiled at her. “Although the damage was so severe it is a mystery to my wife why you didn’t.”_

_“Good.” _

_She mumbled and lost consciousness again._

_She sat in front of Madame Vastra as she checked her hand._

_“It will be fine after all. Thank whoever you believe in that the TARDIS got that special bandage from New New York to heal it. What did maim it like this, anyway?”_

_“Hot bear trap,” she heard the Doctor mumble._

_The thought let even the hard-boiled Silurian flinch._

_“Change the bandage every two days and use this ointment on it.”_

_“Yes, Ma’am!”_

_“Your back will still hurt for a bit until all the skin has mended. Had to do some transplantation there. Let someone put some of that ointment on that regularly.” _

_Madame Vastra continued, looking at her quizzically. She felt uneasy under that scrutinizing stare._

_“I was only able to patch your physical wounds. You will need someone else to take care of the mental damage they did to you.”_

_The Doctor stood up and turned to go._

_“Tell her, Doctor. Tell Clara what they did to you.” After a short pause she added “And tell her that you love her. Jenny is able to love a man-eating Silurian, so I’m sure Clara is able to love a grumpy old Scotsman.”_

_She didn’t say a word and didn’t look back as she headed for the TARDIS._

“Why didn’t you tell me?” Clara asked as the Doctor broke the bond.

“I did right now.”

“But why didn’t you do it after all this happened? For God’s sake! You nearly regenerated!”

“I did, in some way,” he shrugged.

“I don’t remember. When?”

He closed the bond again.

_Her flat. She was lying on the sofa, breathing in the smell from her pillow, trying to ignore the pain that crawled from her back. A key clicked in the lock. She saw herself entering the living room. _

_“Doctor, what are you doing here? It’s late and it’s not even Wednesday.”_

_The Doctor raised the damaged hand._

_“Got myself into a pub fight on New Caledonia 2.” _

_“Sounds stupid. What was it about? Who sang the best version of ‘Hallelujah’ – again?”_

_She felt the urge to tell her everything. About the torture, the pain, the fear, the loneliness and the hopelessness in that dark, windowless cell. Maybe Clara could take her head in her lap and stroke her hair, telling her that everything was alright. Then she felt rather pathetic for that wish, coming to her flat, whining about what happened. _

_“No, not quite. But nothing important, anyway.”_

_“Fine”, she heard herself reply, “don’t tell me if you don’t want to. Tea?” _

_“Tea sounds good.”_

_She was a fully grown timelord and should be well able to get over it alone, without being a nuisance or a burden to Clara. Lying here in the comfort of her company and being looked after with some hot tea was already more than she could expect. _

“You daft old man.” Clara said as her tears welled up. “Don’t you know that it is never pathetic to ask a friend to look after you when you are not okay? I would have been glad to listen to you and take care of your injuries.”

“It seemed laughable and unimportant the moment I saw you alive and well.”

“It never is, Doctor. Whatever troubles you, it is never laughable or unimportant.”

She stroked his back tenderly. She could nearly feel the pain again, although they broke the telepathic bond and the injuries had been healed long ago.

“It was very brave to endure all these tortures just to protect me. I hate the Perinathoans for what they did to you. I can’t even begin to imagine what you have gone through. I should have been more perceptive when I found you in my flat. I should have noticed there was something wrong with you.”

“Don’t feel this way – I hid it well.”

“Is there something I can still do for you?”

“Changing subject, maybe?”

She nodded. He was not used to talk about anything personal and showing her what had happened had probably already brought him to his limits. What she could do now was leading the conversation to somewhere he felt safe again.

“How could that fiery creature claim that it’s me?”

She heard a deep breath of relief.

“Blazzard. Lovely planet, if you like volcanos and lava, that is. The creatures are most commonly named Firebabbles. No one ever found out how those creatures name themselves, because they will always assume the name or title you address them with. Like an echo in the mountains, just that they are living beings. People in that region often use them to mock their children, convincing them that the devil exists or something along these lines.”

“So, they basically just answer with whatever you name them?”

“Yes, say: ‘Oh, Dumbass, mighty king of the pudding-brains’ and they’ll answer: ‘I am Dumbass, mighty king of the pudding-brains’. Kind of funny and mostly useless but came in handy this time.”

“They are quite impressive. And dangerous, I suppose. Those flames came pretty close.”

“Ah, mostly harmless. You just have to stay out of their way. As far as I know no one was ever killed by a Firebabble.”

“Do you think Ruxanthos made it out alive?”

“If his men were smart enough to pick him up before he was completely dried out, I’m rather sure of that. And as far as I know no one was ever able to catch a Firebabble, so I would assume that the following generations of leaders will do some fruitless journeys to Blazzard every now and then.”

“That was very clever, Doctor.”

He beamed and said:

“I could use something to eat, I think that telepathy stuff makes me hungry.”

She felt dead tired. But something to eat didn’t sound too bad, either.

“Alright, then. I think I saw some of that space lasagna in the fridge.”

“Clara, you can’t just add ‘space’ in front of everything. It’s just lasagna from New Tuscany.”

They entered the kitchen when suddenly a thought crossed her mind.

“Doctor, how long are two months on Pertinathos?”

“Two Earth years, give or take some months,” the Doctor replied breezily as he opened the fridge and sank his teeth into a piece of leftover cake from Carradic 5 he found there. 

**Author's Note:**

> If you wonder how a Firebabble looks like: I think it looks quite [like this](https://radikaaliamielenterveytta.files.wordpress.com/2016/11/9fdcbe304931b8faff22856c235152e5.jpg?w=646), only with four horns on the head instead of feathers.
> 
> Oh yes, and as much as I respect the original version by Leonard Cohen and like the version from Pentatonix, K.D. Lang is still the one who owns "Hallelujah". I especially like the version she did at the [Olympic Games](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7oZN2eTgvVs). I'm willing to risk a pub fight on New Caledonia 2 for this opinion any time.


End file.
